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Not even a pup!

I’m having a little bit of a panic! Those that know me know there’s nothing wrong with this statement, you see I am generally at one end of a roller coaster or another, and currently I am on one of those. ‘eek! my tummy is in my throat places!’
So what is the drama, Charlotte!
Firstly the day job is really reigniting my interest with lots of fab support in the form of encouraging mentoring by two lovely cigar chomping captains. So that’s all going swimmingly!
So what is it that is causing me to feel a bit on edge!
My baby is about to turn 3! This is not as warm and gooey as it sounds. This makes me feel like I have two little girls, not a baby and a child. And this makes me think I won’t have that baby time ever again and this makes me feel unbearably sad and wretched. Like a withers up old fig! I adored being pregnant, despite the diabetes and the scariness, I loved the flutters of hello it’s me mummy, the pride in putting my hand on my bump, and I feel desperately sad I won’t feel it again. I would love another but there’s a much lengthier list in the con column than on the pro’s. I think it would be incredibly selfish for a 40 something woman who has already been through gestational diabetes and constant monitoring twice along with the devastation of a miscarriage, but even still the ever optimistic part of me lives in a flurry of Waltons and Ingles type dreams of siblings everywhere. I guess it’s not in this life!
Lee, my husband, is adamant that there can be no more additions. He won’t even budge for a dog! In fact he’s been busily organising me with my ebay selling of all things baby related!
Oh well, I guess that’s it. I’m a mum of two beautiful blonde, amazingly bright bundles of cheekiness, and I am very very grateful.
So I shall dutifully organise a paw patrol tea party and celebrate my baby becoming a 3 year old child! Perhaps the nick Jr. puppies might soften daddy on the dog front!
Hmm Pinterest here I come!
Next week I’ve a joint evening with the girls’ fantastic gymnastic club, Little Gym, and House of Fraser. It’s a fashion show, shopping evening, gymnastics display and a little bit of publicity for my wonderful Cambridge biz! All in aid of a wonderful charity called Action for Children. I’m really excited but obviously anxious how this goes. I want to ensure that its successful!
It’s really important to me that the professional attitude I’ve maintained throughout my career with BMW and Porsche is reflected in my weight loss business. I think this is where I can standout from the crowd. I want to help people escape the horrible anxiety of feeling out of place in the wrong size body and I know the pain, self loathing and panic that being overweight can cause. Hopefully I can convey this to the people I meet on Wednesday.

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Adventures in Beauty!

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Sometimes I think two jobs, two children, one house to clean and one husband to keep happy, isn’t enough!
I’ve just signed up to review beauty products for the Beauty Bible! I am so so excited! My fabulous package of goodies arrived today bulging with potions and lotions promising eternal youth! So with my best evil queen from Snow White, I shall be gaze in the mirror post application and chant,’ mirror mirror on the wall…’
In other news I recently joined a gym! Yes, my twenty millionth gym membership! I’ve joined on a six week offer at the very nice Frimley Hall Hotel, seconds from Munday Manor. So far I’ve used it 5 times out of 7 days for the last two weeks, taking the girls swimming, using the gym and generally being incredibly self conscious in the changing rooms! I love it! Possibly because Mr Grumpy thinks I won’t stick to it! I just refuse to be told my own mind!

Even when I suspect he might be right! Anyway I’ve been hopping out of bed and heading there at 6.30/7am! It’s fantastic to have some ‘me’ time before any one needs bums wiping, nose blowing or another emergency hunger attack (what is it with kids during the summer holidays and food!)
Obviously new gym membership means gorgeous new wardrobe! No more baggy yoga pants! I’ve splashed out with some gorgeous fabletics (chanelling Kate Hudson!) and adidas gear! Plus a beautiful new rose gold gym bag! I really have all the gear and no idea!
It must be paying off because 3.5lbs of post centre parcs flab came off this week!

Link to my lovely new bag!

http://m.adidas.co.uk/gym-team-bag/AY4213.html

Sparkling Unicorns!

I have been a busy little buzzy bee starting my first ever foray into entrepreneurial adventures as an Independent Cambridge Consultant.

I have some amazing new people, my fabulous gang of clients, I’m thoroughly enjoying seeing their weight loss. It’s like I am losing the weight myself, I’m overwhelmingly thrilled with every single pound that disappears.

It’s been a massive learning curve as I have always worked for big multi-national firms with infrastructure and processes and now it’s up to me to implement those procedures. It’s not all been smooth seas and full steam ahead. Nothing prepared me for the organisational side of things. I have found the ordering of stock particularly tricky, I know I’ll get the hang of it, but I just feel like I am ordering weekly in a complete desperation rather than planning anything. My husband, Lee, has been invaluable. He has been there to pick-up children when I’ve been clients in the evening, he’s helped me with stock control and spreadsheets and he has been incredibly encouraging. I am so lucky to have him, not only as a husband, but as a partner in everything. I can bounce ideas off him and when I become a bit fanciful, he can keep my feet firmly on the ground.

It’s actually that aspect of his personality that makes him incredibly similar to my sister, Rachel. She has listened to my flights of fancy, my crazy plans and ideas, since we were children. My ideas are normally given a stern old fashioned look Both Rachel and Lee have a way that can reduce what I consider an amazing idea, to suddenly appear something straight out of Enid Blyton.

She is definitely the sensible one of us. In essence I have always needed someone to tether me to the world, I would simply float away without their influence into my own world filled with sparkling unicorns, stationary for every occasion and shelves filled with novels that I have written!

I wished I could be so many things throughout my life, some I achieved, and some may forever remain a pipe dream.

Hopefully no April fool!

A week ago I had my telephone interview with the lovely training team at Cambridge Weight plan, my course is all booked for 27th April, I’m on my way to becoming an Independent Cambridge Weight Plan consultant.

this whole journey is amazing! It’s changing everything about my life! I went to a 30th birthday of a very dear friend and wore an LK Bennett dress that I would never have dreamed of! I danced all night not feeling self conscious or embarrassed! I loved it!

I went to the park with my gorgeous girls last week and jumped up and down on the trampoline with them! I wasn’t worried about getting all wobbly! I loved it!

We went out for my handsome April Fool’s birthday on Friday. We walked 16km, no rubbing thighs, no ‘let’s just stop here!’ It was great!

I’ve also been getting aquainted with social media! It’s all new to me so please forgive me for any faux pas! All in preparation for my exciting new business! I was even excited to fill in a tax form for becoming self employed and speaking to the accountant about spreadsheets! Eh! What’s going on! Give that woman a bar of dairy milk before she completely loses the plot!

 

What about me!

Drained

im sitting on a Sunday morning in my jimjams, I’ve done the cleaning up, the eldest princess’ homework and spellings (I’m now fully au fait to a five year old’s level in the life of Neil Armstrong) and I’m thinking I really need to find an outlet for the creative me.

It sounds horridly selfish but sometimes I feel swallowed up by the day to day and forget who I am. I was a career girl until having my girls, now I’ve take a backseat with a lower key role three days per week. It’s a great role to keep my foot in the door and spend crucial time with my angels. I’m busier than ever with school runs, clubs, diary management of the parties and play dates, let alone the general admin of a household. I keep it moving along ok, I’m no Mary Poppins but I’m ok. The floor is mopped but the mop is still in the corner, the washing is done but not packed away, usually it takes until the next day, the ironing takes a few days to do, the kids eat fresh food cooked by us, they read a lot but they also get sat in front of Nick Jr. Regularly. I’m sure I’m normal. Well I hope so! So why, when I don’t have time to think, am I wondering what shall Charlotte do?

I have always been a dizzy dreamer despite the career and my husband is wonderfully stoic, serious and strong, feet firmly on the ground, the ying to my flighty romantic musical yang. I wanted a bike with a shopping basket on the front because in my head I thought I’d spend weekends cycling to farmers markets and buying homemade chilli jams, the reality is it gets used once a year when we goto camping!

I have these ideas and I just don’t seem to put them into reality. This can often make me feel a bit lost, a bit of a failure. I want to put something into reality. I want to use the corporate me and the dreamy me, I want the Wonder Woman combination. I guess I want to all! Who doesn’t….

Pinterest-totally addictive!

About a year

or so ago I discovered Pinterest and now in those moments when I’m stuck without a book and I’ve read the daily mail website (I’m not ashamed!) I am totally addicted to Pinterest!

if you’ve never had a look, I really really recommend you download the app and give it a whirl!

Who knew there were so many clever people out there posting handy hints on cleaning your house with little more than a bottle of sarsons (my hubby is over the moon it now smells like a fish and chip shop!) there’s beauty, interior design, kids activities, hot actors, so much! And the super handy thing is you just pin it on a handy board and read it later!

So have a quick whirl! Follow me on there if you like and take an insight into what floats my boat!

new year, different me…

Last August I was a size 18…that was my true size, obviously I would prise myself into a size 16 Harlem pant but the reality was, I was a size 18.

To give you some background, my weight has always been my Achilles heel, the thing that would reduce me to streaming tears of self pity. I have a problem with food, a love affair that is more destructive than the worse bad boy. Something that has dominated every day of my life for as long as I can consciously remember. A possession of my soul that has made me sit in random parks throughout the Home Counties, not dogging, but eating and then hiding the wrappers or any other evidence in random dustbins. I’ve cancelled so many nights out rather than worry about what horrendous dress I can ram myself into. I’ve been on every diet imaginable, slimming tablets with the most bizarre side effects. I even took laxatives on and off for about 15 years.

My family have an issue with food stretching back to my maternal grandparents and possibly further. However my issues aren’t their’s, I’m not naive to think that’s what made fat. I put the food in my mouth, stuffing it in as fast as I physically could, I’ve never been very sporty but I could win medals for the speed in eating chocolate. I have  caused such worry and anxiety to my loved ones that I denied my problems and reacted with anger. Typical addict behaviour! I suffered insulin dependant gestational diabetes during both my pregnancies and after the second was warned I was pre diabetic. Did this frighten me? Yes. Did this make me stop eating? You’ve got to be kidding me!

so what was the final straw???

Maybe the death of my grandmother, a plain speaking woman who once said , ‘we just thought you were one of those big girls.’

Maybe the comment of a relative at her funeral asking when I was due, I wasn’t the pregnant one it was my cousin, but who could blame her for thinking that.

Maybe the sun lounger I laid on and snapped in front of friends.

Maybe the two little girls who looked at me with love and devotion, who didn’t care what I looked like but would care if I wasn’t around.

whatever the moment was, I made a change. I rang Nikki, a Cambridge consultant and I made the first step to change. I’m not saying it’s a magic answer, but it’s been a miracle answer for me. I have clicked with Nikki and the program.

I’m almost three stone lighter now, with another 2 stone to go. I don’t find it easy but I find it exhilarating to see the surprise on people’s faces, the feeling of putting on French connection or top shop clothes is a better high than stuffing two peppermint Ritter sport chocolate bars into my mouth. I am on a journey. I might stumble but I won’t fail.

The strangest discovery is I want to help other people like me now. I’ve decided to train for a future career as a Cambridge consultant.